THE ONE WHERE ROSS AND RACHEL ARE ON A BREAK AND JOEY DISCOVERS RACHEL'S ONE HOT BABE WITH A KINKY SECRET.
In Phoebe's apartment Joey was being serious.
"But I just don't get it Pheebs. How could they just like, break up?!" He shook his head as he and Phoebe sat together on her sofa devouring their way through an express espresso frisbee sized with everything pan-pizza. "I mean, this is Rachel and Ross we're talking about here. They were meant to be together. Like Fred and Wilma. Like Starsky and Hutch. I just don't get it. I wonder what the problem was?" he frowned.
This was not good. He was the sort of guy who liked everything in his life to run smoothly and that included his friend's personal relationships.
Phoebe Boufette licked her lips then her fingers clean, one at a time. "Sex."
"Huh?" Joey wore an expression that was like a blank canvas. Sex? No way could it be that. After all, he was an expert in such things and he would of known if it was something like that. His brow furrowed for it suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't had a girlfriend in like, a whole month. Four weeks?!! He really needed to get back into the ballgame as soon as possible. He, Joey Tribbiani needed to keep his well oiled machine - well oiled. He wondered if that cute sales assistant at that big department store on Upper West Side was still available for a date. He figured he still had her phone number lying around his apartment - somewhere.
Phoebe got up from the sofa and took the pizza box to the waste disposal before raiding the fridge. Of course it was sex. It was ALWAYS sex. Boy, people can be so in denial sometimes. She came back to sit beside Joey and handed him a cool beer. He still had that cute "hello…anyone home?" expression on his face. Joey, good old non-complicated Joey. "Yes Joey, sex." she said firmly again. "How did all your relationships break up?"
Joey raised a characteristic eyebrow at that question. That one was a bit too near the knuckle for comfort. His eyebrow got higher as he went mentally through the reasons for all those he could remember. Ding ding. "Er, ah." he muttered sheepishly, unable to meet her knowing gaze. "Sex too I guess."
"See. You can have the IQ of the brainiest person that ever lived but it all comes down to how much or how little you're getting. Simple huh?" she smiled. "I'm a people person. I really should have been a psychiatrist like Dr Ruth. I am the knower of and solution to like all of the worlds' problems."
But Joey was still frowning. "Ok so it's like sex k." he said. "But this is Rachel we're talking about here Pheebs. We are talking about a woman who put the x in porn here." His eyes were wide open and his head was nodding in that determined way he had as if to emphasis his point - no matter how dumb it was. He paused for a second and frowned like he had thought of something really - really - mind bogglingly terrible. "You don't think that Ross got suddenly gay do you?" he blurted out.
Phoebe shrugged as she sipped her beer. She'd noticed lately how Joey had always somehow managed to engineer Rachel into his every conversation. "Ross is too much of the drama queen to be gay, though he does seem to be developing a queer taste for sleeveless sweaters and watching QVC lately. OO OO hey, if he is really going gay do you think he would help me with my décor?" she asked brightly.
It was Wednesday and Rachel was at work sitting behind her plush desk on whose top sat a pile of paperwork >----------< this high. But her mind was on anything but her work. It had been a week since she and Ross had split up. The reason for breaking up was something they had seen coming from a long way off. It had been a long fuse on a slow burn. Despite everything, the companionship, good sex (but not great - her fault?) and the spanking it had somehow gone pear shaped.
She swizzled around in her chair until she was looking out of her office window at the cityscape below. Even despite the spanking. So much for the others always telling them their relationship "ever since high school was meant to be". She felt a deep sadness in her heart for she had discovered how much Ross had wanted her back then. But times moves on and people change. Even true love can fade - despite the spanking.
She lifted a hand and rubbed her temple. Things had got complicated real fast. Since when did spanking go to the top of her list of most important things in a relationship? Ever since the first time he slapped her big fat Greek ass. But in reality, the reason was sadly so simple. The thrill had gone. The zip, zing, pizzaz - whatever, had gone. Work had contributed too she realised. It had been much easier when she worked as a waitress in Central Perk just serving coffee. But through circumstance, she had moved up in the world to land her dream job. He had his professional life and she had hers. They had drifted apart and the spark just wasn't there anymore.
Even despite the spanking. The spanking. She sighed. Now that was one thing she would really, really miss. What would the next man in her life think of her if on their first date she asked him "Do you spank?" She made a face. That would never EVER happen for there was no way she could be so bold. It was all his fault. "Damn you Ross Geller." she whispered out loud. "Why did you have to spank my ass?" She got to her feet and rested her head against the glass looking down at the worker ants far below. Sighing, a face suddenly appeared into her consciousness - someone totally unexpected at that moment.
She smiled as the face asked her. "Yo Rach, how's your ass doin' ?"
The very next day….
In their apartment Chandler and Monica were listening to Rachel break the bad news. Monica, as usual, was waving her hands around like she was directing traffic. "But I just don't get it." she said, her voice rising higher as she paced back and forth in front of her friend who was sat on the sofa. "How could you break up with Ross? I mean I know he's not exactly Mr hot pants fun guy all the time but it's plain to see he's still crazy about you Rachel."
Chandler nodded enthusiastically. "She's right Rachel. Believe me honey I know. I know. This is a man if you asked him to tattoo your name on his dick - he would do it!!"
Rachel groaned and buried her face in a cushion as Monica slowly turned her head to look at her new boyfriend who was still thrusting his jaw out determinedly. "Oh really?" she said sarcastically. "If that's the case sweetie, I guess you'd better get used to the fact that my name is actually Monica Elizabeth Rosemary Geller - the third."
Chandler blinked and instinctively crossed his legs. "You're kidding right?" Monica smiled and walloped him with a spare cushion.
Rachel shook her head. "Hey look you guys. I know how this must look and how disappointed you all are that Ross and I broke up but it's just that…" she clutched her hands together under her chin. "…things weren't right. We just kinda drifted apart that's all. There's no great mystery. No big secret. It was just not meant to be. I'm sorry. I am reeeeeeally sorry."
Monica sat beside her dearest friend and took her hands in hers. Her brother could be such a nerd sometimes. She reached across and gave Rachel a hug. "Its ok sweetie. Stuff happens sometimes I guess. We understand - don't we Chandler."
Chandler was watching the two women hugging each other real tight. Whatever happened to group hugs? "Sure Rachel, sure. Just real sorry that's all." he smiled weakly. He continued to watch the two women hugging and kissing and consoling each other. His left eyebrow shot up. "I guess," he said hesitantly. " - now that you're er kinda single again Rach, a three way orgy like right about this very minute is out of the question huh?"
Chandler ran from the apartment under a hail of thrown cushions and "TATTOO MY ASS!!"
Monica and Rachel slumped back onto the sofa. Monica glanced at her friend. "OK OK!!" she groaned holding her head in both hands. "I have worst taste in men than you!!"
"Awwww. Group hug again Mon." laughed Rachel. "Maybe we should get totally not sober." She jumped up and went to the fridge, took out a couple of beers and grabbed a bag of potato chips from the bench. As she returned to the sofa she bit her lip. She wondered if she should tell Monica about her "other little problem.". Splitting up with Ross HAD been simply a matter of drifting apart - well, at least 99% of it had been. It was the 1% which bothered her. She doubted Monica could handle anymore earth-shattering revelations after the news that she had split with her brother. Even she couldn't believe how absolutely completely screwed her life was right now. But she needed to tell - someone - or she'd go nuts.
Putting the beer and chips on the table she sat back down and took a deep breath. "Monica."
Monica pulled back the can top with a pfffffst and took a gulp. "Hmmm?"
Rachel sat rolling her beer back and forth over her chin. "We're buddies right?"
"And that I can tell you anything right?"
"Even if it's really really - " Rachel paused and made a face. " - insane."
Monica was munching her way through the potato chips. "Hmmm, sure."
"I - think - there's someone else."
Monica was still feeding her face. "Someone else what?"
Rachel took a real deep breath. "Someone else I have feelings for."
Monica froze with a mouthful of snack food and turned to stare at Rachel who tried to smile but gave up. What was Rachel talking about? She just broke up with her brother!! "WHO?"
Rachel was about to reveal all when the door to Monica's apartment opened and in bounced Joey beaming from ear to ear. "Hey you two!" he said happily as he bounded over to behind the sofa, reached across and helped himself to some free food and beer. "How ya doin'?"
Monica was still staring at Rachel who, at the sound of Joey's voice, had blushed furiously with a smile that got "Uhoh, why'd HE have to come in here right now!!" wider. She practically had a huge sign on her head shouting "GUESS WHO!!" The penny dropped for Monica and her eyes got as wide as wide could be. "OH MY GOD - NOOOOOooooooooooo!!"
The next day at Central Perk...
Phoebe waved her hand at Monica and Chandler as she sat beside them on the café sofa. "Oh that." she said dismissively as she supped her decaffeinated to go oh. "I know about that. I thought you were going to tell me about some big secret. You know, something like George Michael really is a cross dressing transsexual from New Mexico. Now that I couldn't handle."
Monica was aghast. "You do? Since like - when?"
"Yeah." nodded Chandler. "How come I'm always the last one to find out about, well, everything?!"
Phoebe put her cup down. "You guys really need to do tantric yoga. You are so out of touch with your inner selves. I mean it's obvious to me by watching their aura."
"Their what?" said Chandler blankly.
Phoebe looked at Chandler. Her bemused friend definitely had the aura of a carrot and the brains of a pea to match. Easy to peel, healthy - but dim. He was a perfect partner for Monica. "A-U-R-A. Aura. You know, like Jedi-Master Yoda. It surrounds us and binds us and brings the universe together. People glow. Like rainbows. Some are multi-coloured. Some only have one colour. Some have none but they usually work in personal development. Go figure."
Monica and Chandler were staring at her as if she had just arrived from Mars.
Phoebe continued on with educating the weak-minded. "You see. That's how I know Rachel and Joey are attracted to each other. Their aura's change colour when they are together."
Monica blinked as she tried to get her head around this whole "aura" thang. "But, but if that's true Pheebs why haven't you told us before? I mean Rachel and Joey have known each other for years ever since she moved to Manhattan."
"No no no NOPE. It doesn't work like that. Emotions change. Feelings change. They haven't always had the same colour aura. It's kind of just happened gradually. Though more so for Rachel. I mean Joey's Joey right? Joey finds anything with a bosom and without a penis sexy doesn't he. But ever since Ross and Rachel have split his aura is much brighter whenever he's around her. The brighter it gets the more he has feelings for her."
Chandler slumped back shaking his head. "Amazing. I mean Joey's an ok guy and my friend but he's not exactly Mr Dependable. His idea of intelligent conversation is what happens when Spider-man needs to take a leak. What on earth does Rachel see in him?"
Phoebe patted Chandler on the knee. "To answer that Chandler, you should ask yourself what you see in Monica. After all, she's the total opposite of you. She's neurotic, obsessive, compulsive, orderly, tardy and has a thing about dust and clean underwear. Despite that you still love her don't you?"
"Ah." said Chandler frowning. "Maybe I just go for women that are just pathologically crazy - like Janice." She was right. That explained everything. Maybe he should give his shrink a call. But that was for later. "But what are we going to do about Rachel and Joey?"
Phoebe smiled. "Oh, I already have a plan."
The plan was a table for six booked at Le Pepes Exquisite Cuisine restaurant which found Rachel in her apartment and deep into her wardrobe. As near naked as near naked can be, she twisted and turned in front of the mirror trying to choose something to wear for her friends get together later that night. "Oh you know - just a quiet dinner party. You, me, the guys." Phoebe had replied enigmatically over the phone when asked who would be there. Rachel smoothed the dress which still hung from its hanger in front of her. Bingo. She looked a million dollars. "Red - definitely the red." she smiled, wondering idly if a certain someone would be there too.
That certain someone, at that precise moment in time, was also deep into his wardrobe. But for altogether more basic reasons. "Hey, where'd my clean underwear go?!" moaned Joey as he tossed his stuff out behind him like a dog digging dirt looking for a big juicy bone. "Is denim ok?!"
Chandler sat in one of the leather chairs munching an apple watching as Joey's wardrobe flew over his head. He sighed for it was just like old times. Before the dark times. Before becoming respectable. Before Monica. Just a pair of guys hanging out, drinking beer and watching porn all night. "What'd you say Joey?" he replied.
Joey appeared looking panicky. "I said denim. Is denim good to go?" he muttered, holding a pair of boxer shorts stretched between his hands. "Did Pheebs say what kind of place we were going to for dinner? Denim should be ok shouldn't it Chandler?"
Chandler took another bite of his apple. "Knowing Phoebe it'll be somewhere esoteric and smelling of sage so don't think you need the tux somehow. Just put on a jacket with them. Should be fine. Don't worry about it." He looked up as his best buddy held up two left socks of different lengths with an anguished expression on his face. "Oh, another thing bud. You'll have to go early to make sure no one steals our table since we're all working late and can't get away."
Joey flopped down into the seat next to Chandler. "Yeah, sure, whatever. I just don't want to turn up looking like a fool if you lot turn up all dressed to kill." Still agitated, he jumped up and went to the fridge. He needed one cool beer coming up. There was another reason he was extra nervous. He figured Phoebe had invited all her closest friends and for him that included one extra special friend indeed.
At Le Pepes Exquisite Cuisine Restaurant later that same evening..
Joey sat at their table fiddling with his tie and fingering his too-tight collar trying to let the steam out. He was on his second iced water with a lemon twist and had noticed that the waiter was checking his expensive looking watch which hung from a chain attached to his black waist coat pocket. Joey smiled apologetically and turned to look at the entrance. Where are they? He picked up his drink and took another sip as he glanced at the other customers tucking into their meals. He could feel his stomach rumbling as succulent scents wafted around him making him salivate more than he usually did. He looked at his watch - 10 minutes late. Maybe he was 10 minutes too early? His eyes popped wide open - maybe he wasn't at the right restaurant! He shook his head. Of course he was. "Er hi." he'd stuttered as he went up to the bald gentleman who was standing impressive and immaculately attired behind the reservations desk. "Got a table booked. Seven-thirty."
The older gentleman looked down his nose at Joey impassively. "Name?"
"Oh ah Boufette."
"Ah yes. Mizz Boufette. Seven thirty. Table 8. Follow me if you will."
Where were they? Joey noticed the waiter looking at him again. Picking up the menu he pretended to know what the hell he was doing and to give him something to hide behind.
Rachel banged on the window and pointed at the building on the right. "STOP STOP STOP!" she shouted through the dividing glass at the taxi driver. "This is the place!!" She scrambled across the leather seat and jumped out of the cab as ladylike as she could. Paying the driver, she turned and ran into the restaurant cursing the late evening traffic and having to work late. Handing her coat to the attendant in the lobby, she was surprised to find the last person she'd expected to see sitting alone doing a Charlie Chaplin impression with his knife and fork. Rachel stood rooted to the spot for a moment as her friend looked up to see her standing there looking drop dead gorgeous. "Joey?"
Seeing her, Joey jumped up with relief and banged his knee under the table. "Rachel!" he yelped painfully as he dropped back down on his chair. "Thank God you're here. I thought no one was coming!" His mouth dropped open as he gathered his, admittedly few, wits. "Wow, you look great!!" he gulped in admiration of this red gowned vision before him.
Rachel took a seat opposite and put her cream coloured purse on the table. "I know I'm late but where is everyone?"
"Beats me. I thought maybe I had either got the wrong place or the wrong date. I was worried I'd have to figure out how to get out of this without paying." He pointed to the menu which was stood up between them. "Have you seen how much it costs to eat something in here?"
It was then the waiter arrived. "Would Madam and Sir like to order now?"
Joey glanced at Rachel. "Er sure, I guess. Do you do small portions?"
Rachel smiled despite herself.
For the record no one did turn up. Not that it mattered to Joey and Rachel for they enjoyed their meal and sat afterwards with a glass of red wine each making small talk. For Rachel it was such a pleasure to have an uncomplicated conversation for once. That was the problem with Ross. He made every topic sound like it was the most serious thing on the planet. At least with Joey there were no hidden meanings even if he didn't know what he was talking about himself half the time - which was a part of his charm. She smiled at him as he let his glass be refilled again. She realised it was a refreshing change and one she could definitely get used to. The trick now was to see how much he was interested in her. She took another sip of wine. "So Monica tells me you broke up with your girlfriend. The one from Finland, Heidi wasn't it?"
"Oh yeah, about a month ago I guess. It's not a done deal yet you understand but I couldn't get the hang of a woman who thinks McDonalds should be nuked and who hates basketball. Weird sex I can handle but when she criticizes the Nicks…she's history." sighed Joey.
"Weird sex huh?" laughed Rachel. "How weird is weird?"
Joey blushed. "She's from Finland and she's a blonde - what more can I say?" he winked knowingly. "I've never seen a woman do that with a six ball before. I was speechless." He looked at Rachel who was giggling and having hysterics behind her napkin. He suddenly had a flash of naughty inspiration. "There was the other thing too though…."
"There's more?" spluttered Rachel who was now hiding behind her menu and peeking over the top of it around the room in case anyone was eavesdropping. "I'm surprised you didn't marry her on the spot!!"
"Thanks, funny ha ha." he grinned sarcastically. "No, she was into other stuff too."
Joey leant further forward peeking over his menu. He paused dramatically then whispered "Oh you know, the spanking and stuff."
Rachel stopped giggling and froze with a look of complete surprise on her pretty face. "S..spanking?" she stuttered. You could have knocked her down with a 12 inch ruler. He had just said the magic S word. "You mean spanking spanking?"
"Is there any other kind?" said Joey bemused. Well, well. It really was true what he and Chandler had managed to wheedled out of Ross a few months back when he and Rachel had first started dating. Rachel really did have a thing about being spanked. Not that spanking was something he'd thought much about. Sure, like other men he had a thing about the female ass but that was just a general healthy interest. Anal stuff was fun too. He quite enjoyed the thrill of sticking his point-dexter up there once or twice when his ex-girlfriends had let him. But spanking? Other than the odd slap of encouragement when riding saddle it wasn't something he'd done intentionally. How did he feel about that? He frowned as he stared at Rachel. HORNY AS HELL!!
A little while later and it was one of those awkward moments when you're saying something one way when you mean or want exactly the opposite. Joey and Rachel stood outside her apartment wishing each other a good night. "I had a great time Joey." smiled Rachel as she stood looking nervously at him. "You were the perfect gentleman."
Joey reached up and played with his right ear. "Oh don't say that Rach." he winced. "You'll ruin my reputation. Chandler thinks of me as his role model."
"He does?" laughed Rachel. Chandler Bing was so sweet. He was perfect for someone as manipulative as Monica. Joey was sweet too and in that jacket he looked kinda hot she mused. At that moment she was definitely feeling hot all over too. "Oh God Rachel, you just want him to spank your tight hot little ass for you don't you!!" she groaned to herself. "Just invite him in for a nightcap and see what happens. Go on. Dare you. I bet he spanks real good and would make you cry."
Joey stood there pretty much thinking the same thing but from the male perspective. Ever since they had left the restaurant it had been the only thing he could think about. And when they had arrived back at her apartment block and she had walked up the three flights of stairs in front of him to her floor - WOW. His gaze had been glued to her ass as it moved too and fro under her tight red dress. He'd always thought of Ross as a bit of a nerd. Not any more. No wonder he wanted to spank Rachel's ass. It was the most perfect ass he had ever seen and all he could think of was to try and figure out how he could get his grubby little hands on it as soon as possible. "Yeah, I taught him everything he knows about women. You never see Monica in a bad or grumpy mood do you?" he grinned touching his nose and winking.
Rachel blinked. "Er no. I guess not." Come to think of it he was right. Monica was always in a good mood these days ever since she and Chandler had got together. Had Joey somehow taught Chandler to be a born again stud? Maybe Chandler was spanking Monica too for all she knew. Heck, now there was a way out prospect. It suddenly occurred to her that here was an opening to break their uncomfortable impasse as they both stood fidgeting in the hallway. She blushed and bit her lip. "Maybe Monica likes the same stuff Heidi does?" There she had sort of said it. She couldn't give a bigger hint to Joey other than asking outright for him to drag her inside and haul her over his lap and to stick her bare chubby ass in his face so he can give her a deserved and wanted hard bad girl spanking.
But for Joey, being Joey, it took a few seconds for the hint to sink in. "Huh?" he blinked to himself. "Did she just say what I thought she'd just said?" He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prickle and stand on end when he finally realised it probably was. His mouth suddenly felt dry and his heart was banging around in his head. He had to be careful. One wrong word and he'd blow his chances and ruin everything. What was that word again? Tact. "You think Chandler is spanking Monica's ass?!" he blurted out.
Rachel went bright pink. Well, she guessed that was one way to break the ice.
Suffice to say the ice definitely got melted big time in Rachel's apartment that night. First sex is always an experience between two people. Especially two people who 5 minutes earlier had been just good friends but weren't anymore. First off there's the first awkward kiss which turns into a kind of slobbery desperate tongue fest followed by the "Well, are we going to, do you want to, only if you're sure you want to not that I don't I do but I'll only do it if you really, really want to." bout of indecisive conscience. Then there's the walk hand in hand to the nearest bed without wanting your new lover to think you're some sort of horny bitch/stud on heat to go. But this is Joey we're talking about here… "Oh gosh almighty, where's the bed….I'M GONNA BLOW!!"
Yes indeed - sex was definitely an adventure with Joey as Rachel had discovered.
Rachel, naked and pristine in glistening sweat, looked up from where she lay between her new lovers spread legs. "It's gone numb?" she blurted out in amazement. This was definitely a turn up for the books. They'd only screwed three times in quick succession and she was still hot to trot. Since when do dicks go numb? She gripped the penis a la Tribbiani at its base and gave his admittedly impressive floptitude a waggle making it bend and sway like a palm tree in a storm. Even her oral technique had failed the taste test. Which was a rather disconcerting first.
"It's never done this before - honest!!" wailed Joey as he sat propped up by two pillows. "Not even with the Wilson triplets!!" After THAT session he was amazed it hadn't dropped off at all considering what they'd all got up too. They'd even had to call an ambulance for him because they couldn't find his testicles anywhere for they'd retracted in drained objection.
"Maybe you just need another kind of stimulation Joey." mused Rachel helpfully as she gave his purple helmet a lick. "What do you like doing to a woman?"
"Oh gee well, you know. Everything." whined Joey.
Rachel was squeezing his shaft, smiling as the head expanded like a balloon. It had only taken an hour and a half of furious and very enjoyable coupling to finally get Joey where she wanted him. "How 'bout spanking a girls ass?"
Joey blew out his cheeks as Rachel felt his impressive pussy plunger start to harden...
Joey was listening to Rachel's instructions but couldn't quite get his head around the idea of pretending to be John McEnroe as opposed to Boris Becker. He looked at his hand and then at Rachel's naked ass as it lay high and perky over his lap waiting for him to spank it. "I don't get it. What has tennis to do with slapping your ass?"
Muttering, Rachel twisted around and pointed to her butt. "Well nothing honey, but you were asking how to do it best and how would you know if you were doing it like I'd want you too. Think about it, this is a good way to learn k?" she explained. "Now, you take Boris Becker, now this guy on a tennis court was someone who'd try and hit the ball as hard as he could okay, either backhand or forehand. Understand?"
Joey nodded. Ahhhh. Smart. He was catching her drift.
"Good, now take McEnroe, he was someone who used finesse on the tennis court. He'd slap, slice and put spin on his returns instead of using power to win the point. It was all in his technique. See, delicate forehand, whippy backhand. Simple. Same rules for spanking." Rachel pursed her lips thoughtfully. "You know Joey, I bet McEnroe is a secret spanker too."
This spanking game is a piece of cake. "Ease up Rachel or else my dick'll bend like a banana." winced Joey as he cracked his palm flush square on his lovers left ass cheek making her yelp and kick her bare feet. "This is fun." he observed as Rachel's bumflesh flushed a handshaped pink. "She was right" he thought. "It is all in the technique." He'd started off with a few pat-slaps. Just hard enough to make her wobble. Then, feeling more confident, he'd added a little slice and tried a few wrong ways back-handers that had Rachel sighing and raising her ass for more of the same. Cool and highly stimulating for them both. Especially for Joey. Next up was spin. Or a skimmer as he'd of called it. Lightning fast flurries of toppish spanks quickly across both cheeks seperately the finished with a splat across both at once. Excellent !. He hadn't felt this horny - or hard -for a long time. When all this spanking stuff was over he was going to shag the ass off her.
Rachel was definitely in her element. Ob boy, this was great. If Chandler wasn't slapping Monica's peachy ass she didn't know what she was missing. "OW!!" she yelped as Joey gave her a particularly hard swat on her right cheek. She glanced over her shoulder and frowned playfully at him. "That was a Becker one. It stung !!" Joey held up his hand apologetically and looked as if he was about to say sorry. But she shook her head. "No no, it's ok honey. You can hit me hard too, I don't mind. The hard one's I can feel deep in my ass. Give me some more of those. I want some more of those. Spank my fat greek ass good and hard for a couple of minutes k?" Joey licked his lips. "Just call me Boris." They both started to laugh as Rachel watched her new boyfriend raise his right hand high over her defenceless bottom. For them both it was definitely game, set and "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWCHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Somewhere else a short time later...
Ross did a dumbfounded double take between an embarrassed looking Monica and Chandler. "JOEY??!" he gasped. "JOEY TRIBBIANI??!"
Monica grabbed her brothers arm. "But you said you were on a break!!"
"Well, I know." he said in a hurt voice. "But it was a break break. I mean, Joey." he groaned still totally befuddled at the turn of events. Sure they were on a break but that didn't mean she could go out and get her ass spanked by one of his best buddies!! He put his head in his hands and moaned that the world had gone mad.