"Well, are you going to or not?"
"Going to what?"
"Stop being so bloody daft Ian, you know what I mean!!"
"You sod, you're doing this on purpose aren't you. Just to get me bloody riled."
My wife Mandy has a fetish. Spanking.
Come to think of it, you'd better add slippering, belting and caning to that as well. Now don't ask me where it comes from because I've got no flipping idea. Even while we were courting she never mentioned a thing, though come to think of it, looking back whenever (read: as often as I could) I was giving her one doggy-style in the backseat of my mini she would always go off like a fucking rocket whenever I patted and pinched her bum. Besides, how was I to know? I was well out of it at the time with my brains being in my dick.
It was on about the third night of our honeymoon when she finally told me in a veeeeeeery round about way that she liked getting her arse smacked. Basically, she was sitting on my face when she asked me if I thought she had a nice bum.
"Do I?" she giggled as I diddled her clit with my tongue making her whimper and paddle her feet against the seat.
"Mfmmffffffffffffmmmmmott?" I mumbled as I rubbed her with my finger.
"Do you like my bum ?" she asked out of the blue.
Now what sort of stupid fucking question was that?
Course I did. It was a beauty. Big, firm, round with just the right amount of bounce. In other words my Mandy had a nice fucking arse - literally (but that's another story). "Uhhuh." I replied, admiring her shaved fanny from close quarters. That's another thing I love about my missus, she's a stickler for cleanliness and prefers to keep her naughty bits totally bare which was fine by me. There's nothing worse when giving your better half the benefit of your oral technique (cough) than to suddenly find yourself with a mouthful of fuzz - yuk !!
"Really ?" she sighed. "Can you, will you, would you slap it a bit ?" she asked, suddenly reaching forward to grasp my upright prong giving it a hard squeeze that brought tears to me eyes.
Do what ?
Gripping me in her fist, she slowly eased her hand up and down making my toes curl. Me, all I could see was the orange glow of her backside in the lamp light as she squeezed my nose between her arsecheeks. "Well, will you, you know....spank my bum. I've always wondered what it would feel like. Go on Ian. Just a bit pleeeeease." she simpered as another noodle of dewdrop dripped from her spongy wet hole.
Number one rule in life lads - keep the little woman happy, especially when she has your be all and end all firmly in her grasp. So, anyway on that fateful night I found out that my little bunny wunny had a secret kink and liked getting her big bum thoroughly smacked until it was hot and sore.
"Well ?" she asked again, standing with her hands on hips looking down at me as I read the paper.
"But luv, I've only just got in from work." I muttered, knowing by the look on her face she wouldn't take no for an answer - she never did. "Besides where's my tea?"
Mandy went bright pink. "Tea, TEA?!" she gasped darkly. "You're not getting any bloody tea until you take care of me!!"
"But, but...I just spanked you a couple of days ago, wasn't that enough for now?"
"No it damn well wasn't, besides that was just a quickie. Pleeeeeease sweetie, you know what I'm like. I can't think straight until I get a good seeing to and believe me dear, I really, really DO need it......right now, so c'mon the sooner you get cracking the sooner I'll make your tea." she ordered, lifting up her skirt and coming to stand by my side waiting for me to take her over my knee.
Christ what is it with women eh ?
You spend all day working your bollocks off and you still get an earful when you get home at night too knackered to think straight...women aren't from Mars they're from Alpha fucking Centauri. Well cuddles, if its a sore arse you want its a sore arse you're going to get.
Anything for a quiet life.....and some tea.
Pulling her white panties up into the crack of her bum, I raised my hand, sighed, took aim and gave her white cheeks a hefty wallop.
"Like that ?"
"Uhh huh, bit harder dear especially on the left ok ?"
After 5 minutes of alternative spankings, slappings and wallops Mandy's bum was a rather fetching shade of red that looked as sore as buggery. "Hurt ?" I asked.
"Oh, oh, hmmmmmm a bit, God do I need this!!" she laughed, brushing her long brown hair from her face as she squirmed across my lap rubbing the bulge of her crotch against my thigh on the sly. "Aoooowwwwwww, what did you hit me that hard for Ian?!! " she hollered as I fondled her glowing butt having delivered a juicy 'un right across both cheeks flattening and pancaking them together.
"Quit rubbing your fanny against my leg you randy bitch!!" I laughed as she turned her head and looked at me over her shoulder blushing hotly.
"Was not !!" she gasped as she turned a redderer shade of red. "Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!!"
"Was too, besides you're leaking. " I said as she squeaked with surprise as I ran my finger up her white pantied covered crotch. Who was she trying to kid ?
"But I can't help it !!" she gasped as I had a bit of a fiddle around enjoying myself. "AAarrrrrrrooooooowchie, oh yuuuuuuuhesssss I'll have some more of that dear !!" she squealed as I slapped her hard again and again in quick succession while she kicked her bare legs in the air and bounced around on my lap.
"Like that ?"
"Oh hmmm hmmmm, you have no idea how much Ian ." moaned Mandy rubbing her thighs together sexily and drumming her white shoes on the carpet that had me grinning from ear to ear. From past "coital/spanking" experience it was a sure sign that she was about to pop her cork and scream the bloody house down - as she always did when she went ballistic. Yep, not only did my main squeeze sport a decent pair of knockers but she also had a helluva pair of lungs on her as well. I should know, many is the time she's nearly deafened me with her "orgasmic" shrieks whenever I've managed to rub her up in just the right way.
Its all in the wrist action you know chaps.
"Fancy anything else while we're at it Mandy?" I asked, sitting on my computer chair trying not to burst out laughing as she did the quick step around the room furiously rubbing her bright red backside. Blimey, I bet that fucker didn't half sting. Maybe now I'd finally get something to eat. Or, perhaps not.
"Be right back !!" she called out as she ran from the room, thump thumping up the stairs into our bedroom where I could hear the tell-tale squeak of our wardrobe door being opened and quickly closed. Looked like the fun and games aren't over yet !!
You never know, I could get to really like this spanking lark.
"You sure luv ?" I asked, taking the cane from her and swishing it through the air, watching as she bit her lip staring round eyed at the bendy rod. Unable to take her eyes off it, she nodded her head quickly.
"Uh huh, give me six with that honey, think that should sort me out." she whispered, kneading her still sore spanked bum wondering if this was such a bright idea. Taking charge, I pointed the tip at her.
"Skirt, knickers off....right now."
Quick as a flash, Mandy whipped off her skirt, pulled down her panties and handed them to me. Grinning, I sniffed the crotch making eyes at her as she stood with her hands on her hips scowling and pouting at me. "Hey, you silly bugger, that's disgusting !!" she scolded before breaking into giggles and slapping my arm.
"Yum, yum, yum I can smell the juice of an Englishwoman's cum !! "
"Hurry up or else I'll change my mind Ian, hurry pleeeeeeease before I wet myself !! " urged Mandy as she knelt on the stool and bent further over across the desk.
"Sure thing sugar, get ready." I warned her. Drawing a bead, taking aim I gently sawed the length of the wood across both rosy hued cheeks giving her an opportunity to call it quits. To be honest, she only asked for me to use the cane on her on rare occasions, usually if she felt she'd done something wrong or we'd had a stand-up row and she wanted to make things up if she decided she was the one at fault. Guess she saw it as a quick way to make amends and get rid of any tension between us. As I've often said - women, go figure.
"AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWCHHHHHH !! " screamed the wife as I zipped in the first of six sizzlers across the circumference of both her wobbly cheeks causing her to rear up onto tippy-toe trying to shake off the sting.
Whistling as I watched the line burp up a particularly evil looking welt, one thing I've learned is that Mandy has a pretty high tolerance to pain, a fact I found out when I first used my slipper on her. Boy, was that a session and a half, I thought I'd been whacking her pretty hard but she kept on saying "harder, harder, c'mon hit me HAAARDER!!" By the end of it I wasn't holding back like I'd done before so I was really laying it on something rotten.
I think it was about the fiftieth wallop when she squealed really loudly, tumbled sideways on the bed and screamed her way through a humdinger of a climax that left her panting and groaning on the bed. I was scared shitless, I didn't know what the hell was going on, should I call for an ambulance or fuck her silly seeing as my pecker was ram-rod stiff ?
Fortunately the later was the solution...much to our mutual enjoyment.
"Owwww, oh fuck, that really hurts honey." gasped Mandy as purple welt number five surfaced looking like a mini Grand Canyon. Whoa, she swore!! Must have really been a stinger that one for she never swears normally, only when she's pushed to the limit that is. In fact, its a bit of a bug bear of mine I guess, you see Mandy's a bit of a prude, all prim and proper normally which is fine by me but when we're at it hot and heavy and I'm banging away at her beaver like my life depends on it she still finds it hard to let rip even when I whisper in her ear stuff like "C'mon lady, tell me what you want, tell me what you really, really want." I'd urge as the bed would rock and squeak under us as we pounded away like a pair of bunnies on heat.
"Uuugh, ughhhhoaaaaahhhhhh, n..no...I, I caaaaaaan't Ian, purlease doooon't ask me to say those things, itssssss naughtieeeeughhh !!" she'd shudder as I'd lick her ear and tweak her inch-long nipples which I knew got her jungle juice flowing.
"Fuck me, say it......go on luv say FUUUUUUUCK MEEEEEEE." I'd pant, teasing her.
"N..Neeeeeeernooooooo, pleeeeasssseeeeohhhhhhhhh hmmmmmmOH!! "
"Yes you can wife, go on tell me you want me to give you a good fucking."
"Agh, oh..aghhhhhhhhh ooooooooof........f......fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkking hell !!" she'd finally whine, always giving in to temptation just before she went off like a firecracker and tossing me around the bed trying to hold on like I was on a bucking bronco.
Personally, I think she loves it.
Its like chalk and cheese, it really is. Its like I'm married to a whole new, different woman after she's had a session. I think its a deep rooted thing, kind of like a cleansing of the soul, an act of submission, of renewal so to speak. Who knows ?
One things for sure, as I sit and watch her pick her things up walking bare, red-striped and sore arsed around the room in front of me and into the kitchen to put the kettle on its a wonderful thing to marvel at. She's bright, perky, chatty and got a beautiful smile on her face and acts like alls now right with the world.
The power of love ?
Nah, more like the power of a sore arse.
"Honey, what would you like for your tea hmm?" she called from the kitchen.
"Sweetie, I asked you what you wanted for your tea ?" she called again, louder.
Coming into the room. "Ian dear, didn't you hear me, I was asking what do you want for your........oh OHHHHHHH !!"
Sitting stark naked, grinning like an idiot and holding my outsized willy in my hand, I pointed it in her general direction. "How about I make YOU something nice and tasty instead honey..."
Hah, men - predictable. Go figure !!