Spanking Story: FRIENDS 3

THE ONE WHERE ROSS AND RACHEL ARE ON A BREAK AND JOEY DISCOVERS RACHEL'S ONE HOT BABE WITH A KINKY SECRET.

Part 1.

In Phoebe's apartment Joey was being serious.

"But I just don't get it Pheebs. How could they just like, break up?!" He shook his head as he and Phoebe sat together on her sofa devouring their way through an express espresso frisbee sized with everything pan-pizza. "I mean, this is Rachel and Ross we're talking about here. They were meant to be together. Like Fred and Wilma. Like Starsky and Hutch. I just don't get it. I wonder what the problem was?" he frowned.

This was not good. He was the sort of guy who liked everything in his life to run smoothly and that included his friend's personal relationships.

Phoebe Boufette licked her lips then her fingers clean, one at a time. "Sex."

"Huh?" Joey wore an expression that was like a blank canvas. Sex? No way could it be that. After all, he was an expert in such things and he would of known if it was something like that. His brow furrowed for it suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't had a girlfriend in like, a whole month. Four weeks?!! He really needed to get back into the ballgame as soon as possible. He, Joey Tribbiani needed to keep his well oiled machine - well oiled. He wondered if that cute sales assistant at that big department store on Upper West Side was still available for a date. He figured he still had her phone number lying around his apartment - somewhere.

Phoebe got up from the sofa and took the pizza box to the waste disposal before raiding the fridge. Of course it was sex. It was ALWAYS sex. Boy, people can be so in denial sometimes. She came back to sit beside Joey and handed him a cool beer. He still had that cute "hello…anyone home?" expression on his face. Joey, good old non-complicated Joey. "Yes Joey, sex." she said firmly again. "How did all your relationships break up?"

Joey raised a characteristic eyebrow at that question. That one was a bit too near the knuckle for comfort. His eyebrow got higher as he went mentally through the reasons for all those he could remember. Ding ding. "Er, ah." he muttered sheepishly, unable to meet her knowing gaze. "Sex too I guess."

"See. You can have the IQ of the brainiest person that ever lived but it all comes down to how much or how little you're getting. Simple huh?" she smiled. "I'm a people person. I really should have been a psychiatrist like Dr Ruth. I am the knower of and solution to like all of the worlds' problems."

But Joey was still frowning. "Ok so it's like sex k." he said. "But this is Rachel we're talking about here Pheebs. We are talking about a woman who put the x in porn here." His eyes were wide open and his head was nodding in that determined way he had as if to emphasis his point - no matter how dumb it was. He paused for a second and frowned like he had thought of something really - really - mind bogglingly terrible. "You don't think that Ross got suddenly gay do you?" he blurted out.

Phoebe shrugged as she sipped her beer. She'd noticed lately how Joey had always somehow managed to engineer Rachel into his every conversation. "Ross is too much of the drama queen to be gay, though he does seem to be developing a queer taste for sleeveless sweaters and watching QVC lately. OO OO hey, if he is really going gay do you think he would help me with my décor?" she asked brightly.

*

It was Wednesday and Rachel was at work sitting behind her plush desk on whose top sat a pile of paperwork >----------< this high. But her mind was on anything but her work. It had been a week since she and Ross had split up. The reason for breaking up was something they had seen coming from a long way off. It had been a long fuse on a slow burn. Despite everything, the companionship, good sex (but not great - her fault?) and the spanking it had somehow gone pear shaped.

She swizzled around in her chair until she was looking out of her office window at the cityscape below. Even despite the spanking. So much for the others always telling them their relationship "ever since high school was meant to be". She felt a deep sadness in her heart for she had discovered how much Ross had wanted her back then. But times moves on and people change. Even true love can fade - despite the spanking.

She lifted a hand and rubbed her temple. Things had got complicated real fast. Since when did spanking go to the top of her list of most important things in a relationship? Ever since the first time he slapped her big fat Greek ass. But in reality, the reason was sadly so simple. The thrill had gone. The zip, zing, pizzaz - whatever, had gone. Work had contributed too she realised. It had been much easier when she worked as a waitress in Central Perk just serving coffee. But through circumstance, she had moved up in the world to land her dream job. He had his professional life and she had hers. They had drifted apart and the spark just wasn't there anymore.

Even despite the spanking. The spanking. She sighed. Now that was one thing she would really, really miss. What would the next man in her life think of her if on their first date she asked him "Do you spank?" She made a face. That would never EVER happen for there was no way she could be so bold. It was all his fault. "Damn you Ross Geller." she whispered out loud. "Why did you have to spank my ass?" She got to her feet and rested her head against the glass looking down at the worker ants far below. Sighing, a face suddenly appeared into her consciousness - someone totally unexpected at that moment.

She smiled as the face asked her. "Yo Rach, how's your ass doin' ?"

*

Spanking Story: FRIENDS 2

THE ONE WHERE RACHEL LETS ROSS TRY OUT HIS BRAND NEW SPANKING TOYS HE BOUGHT FROM THE SEX SHOP ON HER FAT BOTTOM...

[Honestly, I tried to think of a snappier title but failed - author]

Meanwhile, at Ross and Rachel's apartment...

Rachel stood in the open-plan kitchen slicing and dicing some serious vegetables for the evening meal. She'd finished early at Central Perk and thought she'd surprise her boyfriend of two months with a delicious meat and vegetable hotpot. "Two whole months ?!!" she smiled to herself as a whole carrot was hung, drawn and quartered with skilled ease.

Amazing, two months. Who would of believed it ? Certainly not her. Ross may of had a long standing crush on her since they were kids but he was geeksville personified when they'd been at school together. Then, Ross was the kind of guy who wore his shirts tucked into his underpants. It was ironic, but she knew she had never given the gangly Mr Geller a second look or thought in those days. Especially when he grew that Groucho Marx moustache that made him look like Tom Sellecks twin brother.

She sighed at the memories as she picked up the slicing board, went over to the oven and using the knife, slid the diced carrots and suede into the pan where the meat was stewing nicely on medium heat. Once done, she gave the wooden board a quick clean with Mr Sqweezy and picked up her glass of wine. It sure as hell had been an interesting two months that was for sure....

As was only natural, the first month and a half had mostly been taken up with pure unadulterated sex. Sure they'd gone on romantic dates to the movies, theatre or spent some time enjoying moonlight meals at various restaurants but, and there was no point trying to avoid the subject here, they'd spent just as much time screwing each other stupid. She certainly wasn't embarrassed about that. Not at all. She had no problem admitting she enjoyed sex enormously. Why should she be ashamed of admitting as much ? After all, wasn't this the 21st century ? Women's liberation and all that jazz. She'd certainly taught her stuffy palientologist a thing or two about human coupling. Besides, she loved watching him imitate Goofy when he hit the roof during one of their "animalistic" sessions. So sex was great. Better than she thought it'd be. Ross having a rather impressive dick certainly helped things too of course. So she was happy, contented and, not to put too fine a point on it, was in serious trouble of developing the John Wayne walk. Wide eyed and legless. But that had all changed about two weeks ago....when she'd asked Ross about his "IT"

Rachel slipped into a table chair and instantly regretted it. "Ummm...ooooo." she mumbled softly as she gingerly resettled her rear-end back down. Only this time gentler. Her bottom was still sore after last nights "episode". She took another sip of wine, her lips mulling over the tang and turning into a wry smile of bemusement at her own actions and reactions to discovering that she actually....no ACTUALLY quite liked letting Ross do his thing with her backside. So what was last night ? Four ? No.....wait, she'd forgotten about Sunday last when Ross had grabbed her in the shower and bent her naked over the bathtub while he gave her a fairly hard spanking with each slap sounding twice as loud due to the spray. After he had finished she'd practically jumped his bones (oh..ha ha) and was amazed they'd both managed to stagger to work on the following Monday morning. No, that would be five. Over the two weeks he'd spanked her five times. Though she knew the horny dinosaur would of done it more if he could. He was probably just shy. She laughed out loud. "Suuuuuure !!"

"Spanking huh ?" she mused, mulling over the wine absent-mindedly. It wasn't so bad at all. After the initial fright of the first time when he'd been so pissed off with her telling Pheebs about their little secret that he had literally grabbed her, threw her resisting over his lap and tanned her hide while she threatened she was definitely going to castrate him......when he let her up.

It was then fate opened the manual of her sexuality and decided to add another page after "Greek...penchant for backdoor plumbing when in right mood." and she discovered she actually enjoyed the feel of it, the unexpected thrill of it and the outrageous kinkiness of it. Hmmm, maybe that was the secret. It was kinky. Out of the norm. Doing something out of the ordinary. Sort of thumbing her nose at conventional wisdom about what and how the career woman of today was supposed to act. Yeah, that was it. He was doing something kinky with - to her and she liked it. Kinky is as kinky does. What had he called it again ? Oh yes, stuff. Her boyfriend liked to do stuff.

With her free hand she reached behind herself and idly rubbed her tush. "Stuff huh ?" she said aloud. Maybe there was other "stuff" they could try. She took another sip as she glanced at the clock wondering what Ross was doing at work now.....

Spanking Story: FRIENDS 1

THE ONE WHERE ROSS & RACHEL DO THAT SPANKING THING..

Rachel snuggled closer to Ross as they lay together in his double bed.

Ross was reading but Rachel had other things on her mind. "Ross..." she whispered, easing herself up to rest against his left shoulder and running a finger teasingly across his breastbone.

"Hmmmmmmmm ?" Ross replied absent-mindedly trying to ignore her obvious charms. Once he got his nose in a book nothing would unplug it. Not even Rachel. Naked. In bed. With him. But only just mind.

Rachel ignored his off-handed reply and soldiered on for she was determined. "Ross...do you, well, what I mean is." Rachel took a deep breath. This was really really important. She had been going nuts thinking about it. "Do you, is there anything, well you know, you like.............doing ?" she breathed in his ear. To show she was serious she stuck out her tongue and licked his earlobe causing Ross to shrug up his shoulder as she tickled him. "If there is, you can tell me. I won't tell a soul I promise. In fact, I might just.....you know, do it." Rachel could feel her heart hammering in her chest. Phew. She'd finally said it. She'd often wondered if there was a darker side to her new boyfriend. The idea seemed totally absurd. "This is Ross we're talking about here !!" she'd thought initially. Ross, Ross. Good old dependable, trustworthy, boring Ross. The dinosaur guy. If this guy has a kink he keeps it well hidden. Or so she'd thought.

That was until last week..........